You are very generous

 

and I feel lucky. Please, help me so I can have a better future."

I want to know more about this phenomenon, but I can't because I can't talk to his mother. I am still haunted by the question, am I lucky? I want answers, but I also want to be happy. Is he lucky? Because I want to live here and do well. If it doesn't do me well, no one will be happy.

He can't understand everything that I've been through. He keeps asking, what's wrong with me? He can't understand what I've been through. He keeps asking, what's wrong with him?

It is so frustrating. I know we have a strong relationship — good and bad — and this can hurt. I'm hoping that he is smart enough to know the pain this causes because he's probably too sensitive to his mother.

For instance, after a recent trip with my grandmother, while I was in Mexico for the birth of a little girl, I went into labor and the doctor, who took my temperature, called for another doctor. No one was home.

I thought I was lucky and so I just went home while waiting in line for an IV. I took it like a human at a beach. Afterward, I went to work and he had to go too. No one could see me, but I don't think it was him. I kept trying to tell him, what was up, but he told me: "You're good to go, that's all."

It doesn't matter now, I'll take it, but that just made me more angry. So I just started crying and thinking, if only they would understand. Because they don't — or are unable or unwilling to — understand.

The last time it happened was at our daughter's kindergarten the other day. I'm trying to give up, but he is stubborn and believes in me. If only he had thought of what I've been through — not realizing, for instance, how many little kids go through these episodes, the number of young parents experiencing these — they might have listened.

I was very fortunate to have three doctors who came to a better understanding of my issues. But it is a challenge for me to see the doctor and be told he is just "not qualified."

I can tell by my own experience that there is much for parents to worry about. I was given the bad news, the worst news